Are You OK?

Many of us ask our colleagues, friends, and family, “How are you?” as part of our daily routine. How often do they reply, “I’m fine” or “I’m OK”? But are they really OK? The way someone answers that question can mean—or hide—so many things, and usually isn’t as straightforward as it seems.

When someone asks you, “How are you?” what is your typical response? If you usually answer “I’m OK” to be polite and spare your colleagues, friends, and family from the truth—that you aren’t doing well—it may be time to rethink how we reply. Who are you really sparing if you aren’t answering truthfully?

On October 10, for World Mental Health Day, we want to shine a light on the fact that it’s OK to not be OK—and that there is hope.

As a veterinary professional, you know how difficult the veterinary industry can be. How many of your colleagues are OK? Are you?

Most of us chose this path (or it chose us) because we love animals and want nothing more than to help them. But from the physical and emotional toll of the job itself, to thoughtless and downright mean clients, to the financial concerns of owning a business or managing student debt—many veterinarians and veterinary technicians/nurses are struggling. Your clinic may be going through a slow phase, or something may have gone wrong during a procedure. If you’re early in your career, you’re still learning your strengths—which can be stressful, especially if you feel pressure (internally or externally) to be instantly perfect at everything.

It’s also common for veterinarians to feel like they’re never good enough or to wrestle with perfectionism (which can go hand in hand). Many suffer from anxiety or depression, turning sadness inward or anger outward—neither of which is healthy. Everything can start to feel like it’s piling up. Add to that an often limited support system and lack of mentorship, and the result is that even if you are OK most of the time, you may feel like you have nowhere to turn and no one to listen.

The more we ignore these feelings, the more difficult they can become.

You may not want to talk about how you’re doing or share your challenges with close colleagues or friends—and you don’t have to. That’s where our peer support groups come in. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who doesn’t know you and who you don’t work with. Finding a space where you feel safe to connect and share your experiences with others who understand can be the first step toward hope and healing.

And if you have a veterinary colleague who could benefit from a confidential, supportive environment, they are more than welcome to join one of our groups too.

Some people who are depressed or anxious may become less engaged socially or at work, have difficulty concentrating, show signs of irritation, or seem overly worried, exhausted, or overwhelmed—while others may show no signs at all. Everyone is on their own journey.

If you’ve noticed changes in a colleague or someone you care about—particularly if these changes have lasted longer than a few days—ask if they’d like to talk about it, but avoid pressuring them.

If they do share with you:

• Listen without trying to “fix.”

• Avoid minimizing what they’re going through.

• Offer support, including resources, if they’re open to it.

• Let them know many experience this and they are not alone.

• Check in on them again in a few days or longer if it seems right.

Do not leave someone alone if they are considering self-harm or suicide. Call or text the 988 Lifeline, contact your local police, or drive them to the nearest emergency room.

If you are OK, you don’t need to wait until you aren’t to seek a community of caring, respectful, and accepting peers to support you along your journey. Now is a great time to join one of our groups. Being part of a support group that includes other veterinary professionals who are in a similar place in life can be profoundly healing.

No one is OK all the time. But you can start setting healthy boundaries, focusing on what makes you happy, and practicing self-care today. Knowing that you’re part of a community of compassionate colleagues can serve as a reminder that you aren’t alone. Hope lives within all of us.